A few rambles, Sidewalk stories

Suicidally Persistent

Me: “Hello Suicidal how are you today? Have you been experimental enough in finding methods to delete your existence?”
Suicidal: “I read about the exsanguination by cutting arteries.”
Me: “Wrist slitting? Come on, it’s not fatal. Only 1 percent succeed.”
Suicidal: “What do you think of drowning?”
Me: “You need an efficacious river. How about Mississippi?”
Suicidal: “Or getting over-medicated on the bathtub…but it sounds so cliché”
Me: “Electrocution? Jumping off the Golden Gate? Drinking a cocktail of cyanide with extra belladonna? Suicide bombing? Detergent-related? I can buy you 5 gallon bucket of WindFresh laundry detergent since it’s cheap and perhaps the cheaper the more effective. Or how about Apocarteresis? Stop eating?”
Suicidal: “Stop it.”
Me: “I agree, stop it. You can’t be Drake, Woolf or Hitler. Because you’re not:
1) A famous singer;
2) A famous writer;
3) A famous killer.
So why should you end up like them? You’re not famous at all.”
Suicidal: “I’ll innovate something more groundbreaking.”

fresh wound

“not suicidally intended, just a swimming accident, haha”

Standard

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